If I Perish, I Perish!
I am stuck in an identity crisis. Stuck between who I was told I am, what society tells me I am, who I want to be, and who I was created to be.
Esther had the same problem.
She was an orphan. Her uncle, Mordecai, took her as his own daughter. She did what she was told to do, was pleasing in appearance, and obtained favor from all who met her.
Esther sounds like a people pleaser to me. Given her background and her father’s dominant personality, my guess is she found comfort in following directions. No real need to make decisions. She had people in her life to do that. She just let life happen to her.
But something drastic changed Esther forever. One day she was taken. Again, having no choice in the matter. She was suddenly in the palace. The King favored her, washed her in perfume, dressed her in royal robes, and put a crown on her head. Even amongst all these changes, she still had no idea who she was.
One day she had a life threatening choice to make. Here is where Esther falls into her crisis. If she speaks, she dies. If she remains silent, she dies. Knowing that some form of death was inevitable, she realized for the first time that she was standing in the kingdom. She was bride to the King! Covered in strength and honor. She was given a position of authority, which entitled her to boldness, confidence, and courage.
In Esther’s new identity, she humbled herself before the King. She asked that all the evil plotted against her be counteracted. And to her surprise, her request was granted.